Hatchet (horror/Black comedy)

Hatchet (Horror/Black comedy)

Plot:
It's not a remake, it's not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one. Old school American horror.

Hatchet is a 2007 slasher film from Ariescope Pictures [1] and directed by Adam Green. Set in the Louisiana bayou, it is the story of the legend of Victor Crowley. A group of tourists discover that the legend is real and more horrifying than they ever imagined. It features an all-star horror cast that includes Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th), Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street), Tony Todd (Candyman), Mercedes McNab (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Joshua Leonard (The Blair Witch Project). Hatchet is billed as "a throwback to the glory days of horror that literally saws the face off the 'slasher film' as you know it." The film is not to be confused with Gary Paulsen's young adult novel Hatchet.

Sexual content: HIGH

Annoying just flat out annoying. But luckly it is only throught the first fifteen or twenty minutes. But thats not to say it wasn't bad. It starts off in mardi gras so one would figure there are plenty of drunk girls try to get beads. Yes that happens and there are the two typical ditzy girls and a fake director that gets them to show there "goods".

Violence : EXTREME

As a call back to "american horror" expect lots of blood. People are sliced, diced and broken all for the sake of a fountain of gore and blood.

Language: Cautious

There really isn't alot of language in this movie surprisingly. 5 or 6 uses of F**k find there way onto the script. about a dozen S**t and A** as well. The lords name is taken in vain about 12 or more times.


Final: Bloody and annoying at times. This one is only for diehard horror fans but under neath the violence there are some funny bits of humor scatter through out. "911 you sure thats the number to 911 i though i need the area code"


3 out of 10 (maybe a good rental but there are better movies in the genre out there)

Sweeny Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet street

SWEENY TODD THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET
(Musical/Horror/Dark comedy/slasher) (2007) (Rated R for Graphic Bloody Violence)

Plot:
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is a musical thriller and the film adaptation of Stephen Sondheim and Hugh Wheeler's stage musical of the same name. The film stars Johnny Depp in the title role, in his sixth collaboration with director Tim Burton. Helena Bonham Carter also stars as Mrs. Lovett, in her fifth collaboration. The film was released in the United States on December 21, 2007 and in the United Kingdom on January 25, 2008 to enthusiastic reviews. It won the award for Best Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical) and Best Actor (Comedy or Musical) at the 65th Golden Globe Awards and was nominated for Best Actor and Best Costume Design and won Best Art Direction at the 80th Academy Awards.Benjamin Barker, a skilled barber, is falsely charged and sentenced to a life of hard labor by the corrupt Judge Turpin, who lusts after Barker's wife Lucy. Fifteen years later, under the assumed name "Sweeney Todd", he escapes the penal colony and takes to the sea, where he is found shipwrecked and rescued by sailor Anthony Hope aboard the ship Bountiful headed for England ("No Place Like London"). Upon arrival, Todd returns to his old flat above Nellie Lovett's pie shop on Fleet Street ("The Worst Pies in London"). There Lovett tells him that his wife took poison after being raped by Turpin, who then adopted Todd's daughter Johanna as his ward ("Poor Thing"). Todd vows revenge and reopens his parlor in the flat above Mrs. Lovett's pie shop ("My Friends").

Sexual Content: Moderate
No nudity but it has alot of 18th century cleavage revealing dresses. And in one slightly disturbing scene rape is implied. You see a man in a cloak knock a women down and throw his cloak over her a a crowd stands around laughing.

Violence: Extreme
A lot of throats are slit in this movie, blood sprays from gaping wounds like fountains and then bodies are dropped through the floor sometimes resulting in a cringe worthy breaking noise or in one case a bodies landing head first resulting in a bloody scene. Add in cannibalism and you got yourself a bloody movie.

Language: Safe
Three uses of S**t and four uses of P**s


Over all: Some really great pseudo goth art work is thrown together with a mish mash of violence and catchy songs (My friends sticks out as my favorite) to create a Film about violence, cannibalism and well love. I generally liked the movie alot more my second viewing.

5 out of 10 ( good for the strong stomach but for the weak stomached should stick with a corpse bride for there Tim Burton fix)

A new set up

I am gonna review movies a bit differently than i have been. I am gonna start being way more strict on my overall ratings they will be as followed

0/10 Awful. Stay far away
1/10 Bad if at all avoidable don't watch these movies
2/10 Nothing special only for the curious
3/10 Enjoyable once and once only.
4/10 Starting to get better. Typical cliched action/comedy/horror movie
5/10 popcorn movie, some good ideas but nothing completely original worth a rent
6/10 Easily a common rating, not bad by any means but nothing original. Worth a rent and sometimes a buy
7/10 Good movie.
8/10 Deffently worth owning. Not always a easy recommendable movie but a solid movie
9/10 Great just a few feet from amazing
10/10 Rare, either striking art direction, compelling or movie story or does everything right. Near perfection

Ok so thats my set up. I am gonna review older movies (Platoon, Silence of the lambs, the Godfather etc etc) to new movies (Sweeny Todd, American Gangster, Juno, and even new theater releases) My personal views is I hate renting movies so yeah all these older movies i am review i either own or borrowed (sorta a rent a guess )

Platoon

PLATOON : War/drama/action
(Rated R for some scenes of graphic war violence, Pervasive language, drug use)
(running time 2 hours)
Story:
Platoon is a 1986 Vietnam War film written and directed by Oliver Stone and starring Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, Forest Whitaker, Kevin Dillon, Keith David, John C. McGinley, and Johnny Depp. The story is drawn from Stone's experiences as a US Infantryman in Vietnam and was written by him upon his return as a counter to the vision of the war portrayed in John Wayne's The Green Berets.^{[citation needed]} The film won the Academy Award for Best Picture of 1987. In 2007, the American Film Institute placed Platoon at #86 in their 100 Years...100 Movies poll. Channel 4 voted Platoon as the 6th greatest war film ever made, behind Full Metal Jacket and in front of A Bridge Too Far.

Sexual content: Moderate
In platoon there is actual no sex, or nudity. There is one scene that earns the moderate rating. During the scene three soilders are depicted trying to rape a young Vietnamese girl. No nudity is shown just her bare back to depict what was happening. Before the scene goes past the point of hinting Charlie Sheen's character stops the soilders from raping her.

Violence: High
This is a war film so expect quite a lot of bloodshed. But compared to simalar war movies such as Saving private Ryan and Black Hawk down it is quite tame in comparison. There are two scenes that desearve mention. One where two troops are looking threw enemy supplies and one loses both of his arms and the next scene is the great betrayal/ iconic bloody arm scene. While not the most violent scene in the movie it does have alot of blood.

Language: EXTREME
War movies along with violence comes alot of language. This one ranks up the top of most war movies made. Over 150 uses of the F-word and S**t , D**n, and A** climb the counter as well. Also a few uses of the C word sneak in as well. There are about a dozen or more uses of the Lords name in vain sometimes occompanied by the f-word.

Overall: High parental advisory
While the violence and sex are easily over looked the language hurts this movie for recommendation. I gotta say no one under 18 should watch this movie so right on par with that R rating

Comments: Easily one of the most harrowing movies ever made, its not so much about the violence and the horrors of war as it is about the human drama that happens between the regime of soilders. I Put this movie easily on my top 10 of all time but i can never recommend it to someone offended by language. If you can deal with the language and mature themes, you'll in for a great movie.

8 out of 10 (good but not for everyone)

Fraility (horror/thriller)

FRAILTY

Story: Frailty

Frailty is a 2001 psychological thriller film, directed by and starring Bill Paxton, and co-starring Matthew McConaughey. This film is the directorial debut for Paxton. The score was composed by Brian Tyler. The plot focuses on the strange relationship two young boys have with their father who believes that he has been commanded by God to kill demons, and the consequences this belief has after the boys have grown up.

Contents

SEXUAL CONTENT/ NUDITY : SAFE
It is actually a very clean movie in this sense. The worst it gets is a middle school kid says a crude comment to a friend about the dukes of hazzard

VIOLENCE: CAUTIOUS
For a R rated movie violence wise it is very mild. It is no worse than a pg-13 movie in seen violence. The violence and killings are all done in cut away manner. The killings are all done with an axe so it could have been very gruesome but the director and films star Bill Paxton chose not to show the killings but to just focus on the young kids faces and sound effects. The two scenes that pushed it to an R rating are one when a charecter is shown with an axe sticking out of his chest and another scene where a women is killed by a knife and blood is shown splattering on sheets and her killers face.

LANGUAGE: CAUTIOUS
6 f-words are used(all in one scene) but for are muffled so there are not fully audible. There are a hand full of milder obscenities (such as S***and B******d and D***m ) with one or two usages of d*** with God at the beginning,

OVERALL: CAUTIOUS ( 16+)
Due to the harsh language in one scene and the over all darktone of the movie i can only recommend it to movie fans at the age of 16 and up

My thoughts

So i stand here thinking to myself, "self, i need to review movies" so i made this. Here the low down on how its gonna work, I review movies (duh!) and i'll rate content from sex(nudity), violence, language, and on the occasion spritual content. I'll give it a parental advisory rating from SAFE, CAUTIOUS, HIGH!, EXTREME !. and the ratings will be given to each subject and a final rating will be applied.